new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
