I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
thus making me awesome and them whores
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
