Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
