Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
