Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
