sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
