i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
