he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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