So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He felt like a one man threesome
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I lost the right to judge tonight
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
