after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
