I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
where does the pee come out of this thing
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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