you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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