nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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