You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
