Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
