I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
