I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
