How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
