we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
