Your dad touched me again.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
