I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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