playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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