im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
