I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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