I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
