i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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