At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
