Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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