its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
