He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
