I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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