tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
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got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
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Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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