You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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