i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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