seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
