And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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