we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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