Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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