It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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