NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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