I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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