I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
