If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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