maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
