1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
