Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Sober January is a disaster.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
why is half of my head shaved?
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