They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
