just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
