Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
