Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
