i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
