They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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