even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
