Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
