had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
3 2 1 whiskey
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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