now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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