You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
